A Trans Man Walks into a Gay Bar
Author: Harry Nicholas
Published by: Jessica Kingsley Publishers
Pages: 224
Format: Paperback
My Rating: ★★★
Published by: Jessica Kingsley Publishers
Pages: 224
Format: Paperback
My Rating: ★★★
'On the bookshelves, there was plenty of stuff on being gay, and much needed, joyous accounts of what it is to be trans, but nothing really that encapsulates what is it to be both - to exist in the hazy terrain between.'
In this raw, intimate and unflinchingly honest book, we follow Harry as he navigates the sometimes fraught and contradictory worlds of contemporary gay culture as a trans gay man, from Grindr, dating and gay bars, to saunas, sex and ultimately, falling in love. Harry's brave and uplifting journey will show you there is joy in finding who you are.
In this raw, intimate and unflinchingly honest book, we follow Harry as he navigates the sometimes fraught and contradictory worlds of contemporary gay culture as a trans gay man, from Grindr, dating and gay bars, to saunas, sex and ultimately, falling in love. Harry's brave and uplifting journey will show you there is joy in finding who you are.
My thoughts:
A Trans Man Walks into a Gay Bar was selected as this month’s read for a book club I attend in Bath, and I was intrigued to read this journey of self (and sexual) discovery. The book is refreshingly honest, allowing readers to understand the hardships and journey trans people are forced to face.
After his relationship with his girlfriend of 5 years ended, Harry realised he was a single adult for the first time - not only that, but a single, transmasculine and newly out gay man.
Despite knowing it was the right decision, the reality of his new situation was terrifying. How could he be a gay man, when he was still learning what it was to be a man? Would the gay community embrace him or reject him? And most importantly, would finding love again be possible?
In 2018, fresh off a breakup with his ex-girlfriend and realising that he wanted to explore life as a gay transgender man, Harry Nicholas found himself with a lot of questions. His book provides a ground-breaking take on what it’s like to be a trans man dating men. This is a memoir of queer existence and resistance. As Nicholas explains, there are opportunities to read about gay experiences or trans experiences, but rarely both at once.
The thing I found most interesting about this one is the unique take on how Nicholas’ different ways of identifying throughout his life can offer a multitude of perspectives. He writes with sensitivity and honesty in the book about the ways he has “learned many perspectives” over the years.
Nicholas focuses on specific events or periods in his life in each chapter. I felt that this format sometimes made the narrative a bit jumpy as it was not always chronological. It also became slightly repetitive at points, as many of the threads came back to the same core message at the end of each section. The writing wasn’t always my favourite style, and I found the repetition a little frustrating at times, but ultimately this is undeniably a very important and powerful example of gay transmasculine literature.
I’m so glad this book exists, and there are parts of it that were incredibly illuminating and insightful for me. It is a powerful read which had me in tears along the way. In particular, the breakup scenes at the beginning made me emotional, and I instantly felt myself caring about the people at the heart of this book. While serious topics and important questions are often addressed, Nicholas was able to manoeuvre the conversation with honesty, sensitivity, and a sense of humour. The author is clearly wise beyond his years at just twenty-six and I can’t wait to see what he does in the future.
I was gripped by the discussion about gender and sexuality being linked much more than we usually talk about. The total uniqueness of this journey from a lesbian to a trans man and a gay trans man made for a fascinating read.
Overall reaction:
A Trans Man Walks into a Gay Bar was selected as this month’s read for a book club I attend in Bath, and I was intrigued to read this journey of self (and sexual) discovery. The book is refreshingly honest, allowing readers to understand the hardships and journey trans people are forced to face.
After his relationship with his girlfriend of 5 years ended, Harry realised he was a single adult for the first time - not only that, but a single, transmasculine and newly out gay man.
Despite knowing it was the right decision, the reality of his new situation was terrifying. How could he be a gay man, when he was still learning what it was to be a man? Would the gay community embrace him or reject him? And most importantly, would finding love again be possible?
In 2018, fresh off a breakup with his ex-girlfriend and realising that he wanted to explore life as a gay transgender man, Harry Nicholas found himself with a lot of questions. His book provides a ground-breaking take on what it’s like to be a trans man dating men. This is a memoir of queer existence and resistance. As Nicholas explains, there are opportunities to read about gay experiences or trans experiences, but rarely both at once.
The thing I found most interesting about this one is the unique take on how Nicholas’ different ways of identifying throughout his life can offer a multitude of perspectives. He writes with sensitivity and honesty in the book about the ways he has “learned many perspectives” over the years.
Nicholas focuses on specific events or periods in his life in each chapter. I felt that this format sometimes made the narrative a bit jumpy as it was not always chronological. It also became slightly repetitive at points, as many of the threads came back to the same core message at the end of each section. The writing wasn’t always my favourite style, and I found the repetition a little frustrating at times, but ultimately this is undeniably a very important and powerful example of gay transmasculine literature.
I’m so glad this book exists, and there are parts of it that were incredibly illuminating and insightful for me. It is a powerful read which had me in tears along the way. In particular, the breakup scenes at the beginning made me emotional, and I instantly felt myself caring about the people at the heart of this book. While serious topics and important questions are often addressed, Nicholas was able to manoeuvre the conversation with honesty, sensitivity, and a sense of humour. The author is clearly wise beyond his years at just twenty-six and I can’t wait to see what he does in the future.
I was gripped by the discussion about gender and sexuality being linked much more than we usually talk about. The total uniqueness of this journey from a lesbian to a trans man and a gay trans man made for a fascinating read.
Overall reaction: